Yik Yak, a social community app that allows college students to post anonymous thoughts, has become a very popular app at Elizabethtown College. Completely location-based, students turn to Yik Yak to share their thoughts with other students, faculty and anybody else that’s within’ in the 1.5 mile radius of the college. There is a wide range of Yaks that are written, but more of the frequent posts are about students being lonely and looking to meet someone or admit they have a crush on someone. It seems that it is very hard for single people at Elizabethtown College to meet other single people. Here are 13 examples that prove just how lonely the single people are:
1. Yet Another Movie
Ask anybody and they’ll tell you the best first date is watching a movie that way you can sit in silence and not talk to each other. Just kidding, it’s not. It really just screams you’re looking for a hook-up. But hey, sharing your Netflix password with a girl these days is just as good as jewelry.
2. Somebody’s Tinder-ella
Her friend is single and is on a Tinder date. How sweet. But if you’re creeping on someone else’s date, you’re most likely single yourself (and jealous?). If only there was a dating app for single people…
3. Hopeless Wanderer
Everyone has a crush they wish they could see everyday, but sometimes the weird acts of life keep that from happening. Sure you could be bold and message her on social media, but it could also creep her out when you tell her you like seeing her around. But, you do you. Perhaps message her anonymously on Yik Yak?
4. You’re My “Best” Friend
It’s a relatable predicament that many single people deal with. If she’s not use to guy attention, then she’s been lonely for a while and that may be the reason why she’s confused. The answer is pretty simple: the latter. He could be just a friendly guy, but that doesn’t mean he’s not already thinking ahead. Men are always on a mission and know what they want when the see it. Hence why it doesn’t take men all day to run errands; they already know what they’re getting before they leave the house.
Exception: Costco. That’s a cluster ‘f’ for everyone.
5. True Fine Love
Woah! This person’s dance card is full for the night. The only thing they’re missing is a midnight McDonald’s run. While Netflix provides hours of endless entertainment and your bed is always there to support you after a long day, when you start calling them your “babe,” this just might show how lonely you are. Why don’t you ask the guy from Yak #1 over and you can watch Netflix together?
6. Netflix Winos
Are you seeing a theme here? What would lonely people do without Netflix? And wine?
Fun fact: OSA plans campus events on Fridays.
7. (If You’re Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To
So, your crush is suppose to know you want more because you yakked about it? Without the proper communication, you may just stay single. While relationships are a two way street, Yik Yak isn’t. If you want your crush to get the point, try telling them personally. If you don’t, you could remain lonely for awhile, but on the plus side you’ll have more Yakarma points then you started with.
8. You Ain’t Seen Nothing, Yet
Having problems slaying men in your high school sweatpants and UGG boots? It’s OK, it happens. Many people start to let themselves go after being lonely for awhile. But, you never know when you’re finally going to meet that cute boy, so it probably helps to be prepared. I hear men like yoga pants, but I think the jury is still out on that one.
9. No Shave November
Someone needs to explain to her the rules of “No Shave November.” Pretty sure it doesn’t include legs. To be honest, I don’t know what is worse, using the word “bae” or not shaving your legs. If the highlight of being single is not having to groom yourself, then you might be on the lonely train for longer then you are expecting.
10. All Revved Up With No Place To Go
Partying isn’t for everyone and there’s certainly more ways to meet people in college, but playing a computer game isn’t one of them. No matter how many times you enter the cheat code “rosebud” for more money, the inevitable fact is that you’re still alone. And if you’re advertising your Sims Party on Yik Yak, then it’s safe to say you need attention…and badly.
11. Cool for Cats
Everyone who is single and loves cats appreciates a reminder that they aren’t alone in being alone. Cats can’t fulfill all the needs like a boyfriend or girlfriend can, right? Some people certainly try, but you’re in college so there’s still some redemption time for you.
12. Rocket In My Pocket
Definition of college. They didn’t tell you that at orientation? Weird…
13. “This is not your fault!”
Actually, this is just a good movie. Everybody needs a good cry every now and then.
(And no, we’re not judging you for watching this movie just so you can say Robin Williams affected your life.)
Note: This listicle was written without the intention of being offensive or confrontational. It’s written with complete sarcasm. You do you.